A questionable German-Turkish-Mexican mashup

In Heidelberg on the main street, there are two restaurants back to back. One is "Mexican" (or the owner's approximation of such) and one is Turkish.

They decided to make a  German-Turkish-Mexican mashup of questionable tastiness.

However, it turns out that someone I know had eaten a "burrito" from the Mexican side of the house one night after visiting the bars. He thought it was the best Döner he had ever had. Ha!

A carbonated drink by any other name

Carbonated, sweetened drinks are called soft drinks, pop, soda, or Coke* in the US. In Germany, the generic name for sweetened carbonated drinks is Limonade, or lemonade. Sigh. This one is a cola, marked as caffeine containing lemonade.

 In my mind, lemonade is made of lemons or is meant to taste like lemons, is not carbonated, and is NOT cola.


*To me, this is the most ridiculous one in the bunch. In some southern states, people call all soft drinks "Coke." They'll say, "do you want a coke?" If the other person says yes, then the first person might say something like, "okay, do you want a Pepsi or a root beer?" Coke is Coke, folks. 

Thrift store shopping gets dead weird at Kaiserslautern's Schatzkiste

On Monday, I was enjoying the magic of the American Labor Day holiday. It's lovely and a bit surreal to have a day off when the Germans don't; it almost feels as if one is playing hooky from work because one can actually get stuff done since the stores are open. With my free time, I made a trip to some local thrift stores, which turned into a strange excursion.

When I visited the Schatzkiste (I reviewed it previously here), I came across a display of...merchandise?

Don't badger me! I'm dead n' stuffed!

Decorations?

We're just chilling next to an overpriced, second-hand lamp.

Dead animals?

Don't be such a weasel. C'mon, buy me!

Mackelmore might've bought a fur coat but you can buy the whole dang animal at the Schatzkiste. You could even make your own taxidermy zoo with their impressive collection.

I lost all composure when I saw this sign under the menagerie.

"As much as you need."

I tried to smother my giggles as I pondered just how many taxidermied animals that one person could possibly need. I also considered: who buys second-hand taxidermy animals? Is that a thing?

Cornsona non grata

My coworker was throwing a party with (delicious, might I say) Mexican food. When we arrived, he told us he had a story we'd find funny. When he was at the (German) butcher, he mentioned that he was buying the Hackfleisch to make tacos.

His German wife leaned in to us and said, "Would you guess what they asked us?"

Me: "Are you going to put corn in it?"

Answer: "Yes, they did!" (rolling eyes)

Me: "Well, you should add some kidney beans, while you're at it, because you know, Mexican chefs are 'always' adding that."

Another party-goer: "Oh, and don't forget the cabbage. A German burrito needs cabbage."

[More rolling of eyes, all around.]

Making Elderflower Cordial with locally foraged flowers

 --WARNING: this blog entry is for entertainment purposes only. If you are interested in foraging wild foods, please check with a professional first. Use plant identification guides from a reliable source to make sure you are foraging the right plant to avoid toxicity.--

Walking through the woods in May and June, one might come across an interesting smell. It's slightly flowery, ranging from a sweet scent to one with slightly bitter undertones. Following the scent, one might come across a bushy tree exploding in clusters of creamy white flowers. The flowers themselves are beautiful little creatures, with lovely petals adorned with five jaunty yellow stamen  jutting up like a 60s-influenced satellite design.

Oh you pretty little elderflower you! Please use a plant ID book to be sure you're foraging the right thing.

Hello elder shrub! Please use a plant ID book to be sure you're foraging the right thing.

These lovely bushes are Sambucus, or elder shrubs. They can even begin to look like trees. Those who've watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail might have to stifle the overwhelming urge to holler, "your mother was a hamster and your father smellt of elderberries!"*

 
Even better than the Monty Python reference is that these bushes can be harvested to create some delicious things! For those living in Germany, one might be familiar with Holunderblütensirup, which basically translates to elderflower syrup, made from the shrub's flowers. It's often used in Hugo cocktails, a refreshing mix of sparkling wine, the elderflower syrup, fizzy water, mint leaves, and lime juice. 

Since I'm on this weird Susi Hausmacher kick lately, I decided that I too would make some elderflower syrup (often called cordial). I'm very lucky in that I have access to an area that has a plethora of lovely foragable treats so finding elderflowers was a breeze. Now that I know what they look like, I have also seen them all over, even within the city limits of Kaiserslautern.

I found a recipe online and made a sugar syrup to start the Holunderblütensirup making process. Since I'm new to this, I bugged out a bit when I found out how much sugar one would use: this particular recipe called for four pounds of sugar to a little more than five cups of water! I guess that's where the syrup part comes in. After the syrup had boiled, I poured it over the flowers, oranges and lemons, and their zest. I will steep it for a day and then bottle it and freeze it. The recipe didn't call for citric acid so I have to be careful with storage and handling even with the high sugar content and citrus fruits. I can't wait to make my own Hugo at home, with the elderflower syrup that I made myself.


*Oh, wait, let's be honest: I did quote the Monty Python line, quite gleefully, in fact. We were obsessed with this in high school and even watched part of it as part of our Humanities class. I'm not entirely sure why, except maybe because...um, the Crusades or something? I went to a Catholic high school so it's ironic they'd show it.

My burning hot northern German Valentine's date

Yes, you read that correctly, I had a burning hot Valentine's Day "date." It was actually literally burning hot. I'm not kidding. At one point the table was on fire. It was all in the name of some northern German fun so it all worked out. Heck, even my date was northern German (but from a different state than what was being featured).

There was a cultural night where a group was serving a meal and traditions from northern Germany. I asked along a friend and we decided to wear dirndls, which have absolutely nothing to do with northern Germany (they're more Bavarian). That's what I think is so awesome about this friend; she totally went with it, even as she was suffering major wardrobe malfunctions.

After stuffing ourselves into our dirndls (I realized that it's easier to put it on after unzipping the bodice first!), we headed up to the restaurant to join the group. We were pretty much the youngest ones there, by at least 25 years. It was a lively bunch and we were immediately greeted with glasses of sekt with rum-coated raisins. Now that's a way to start the evening!

We thoroughly confused our table mates since I kind of do/don't speak German and my friend is obviously fluent, but they didn't realize that she was German at first so they spoke English to her. Wearing the dirndls didn't help ease the confusion either (always keep people guessing!) but we were welcomed warmly.

Our dining companions soon directed their attention on the hostess, letting her know that they wanted dinner. She told them that it was still social time and dinner would start soon. I tried to keep a straight face because I imagined them devolving into children, pounding on the table, and chanting "we want food, we want food!"

The dinner arrived: boiled potatoes (Salzkartoffel), Grünkohl (kale, pureed and boiled), and two different kinds of smoked sausage. I ended up doling out the sausages to the other diners since I was in the middle. Some of the sausages were as big as the plates where I was dropping them, making me feel a bit risqué. The food was tasty. I don't normally dig German food much as I'm not really a meat n' potatoes type of gal, but this was a pleasant deviation.

This was the smaller of the sausages. Kid you not.

 As we were eating, the schnapps and spoons came out. Oh lawdy, was that something! We experienced Löffeltrunk, which was shots of schnapps taken from a special spoon. The last drink was Friesengeist, which was brought out flaming in little shot glasses carried in a wooden shoe (I was excited about the wooden shoe because my peeps are Dutch).

Even the shoe that carries the shots warns that it's "served burning."

Here's where the burning hot portion of the evening came in: one gentleman spilled a bit from his shot glass so the table started on fire. He nonchalantly blotted it out, grinning, and commenting, "happens every year!" We were also given special spoons to set on top of the shot glass to extinguish the flames. Our host said a nice folksy thing and then we all threw back the fiery drink. Oh my goodness, one could taste the fire!

The tools of the northern German (drinking) trade. We drank shots out of the spoons.

 Following the excitement of setting the table on fire, we then watched a slide show as our host talked about northern Germany. There were lots of windmills, ships, bicycles, adorable dudes wearing dark blue-striped shirts and captain hats, and wind-swept dunes.

Traditional male northern German outfit, with schnapps, of course! Isn't he great?

As the other guests left, my friend and I chatted with the hostess. She commented on our dirndls, saying that they were Bavarian and traditional northern Germans attire was like what she was wearing, a white blouse with some embroidery and a long black skirt. She also made a point to say that they wear their skirts to their ankles in northern Germany. I told my friend later that we probably looked like women of "loose morals" with our knee-length dresses and we had a giggle about that one. Everyone seemed confused about why we were wearing dirndls. We told them that we had just felt like it. They said, ah, it must be for Karneval. Um, not really, but if that's how they needed to compartmentalize it, that's fine.

Despite the dangerous drinks, we had a really good time and learned more about northern Germany. You can't beat that!

Dear Germany: Mexican food (other than dulces) should not be sweet!

America gets a bad rap for sugary food. It is true that our food can be overly sweetened, but I have been surprised to find that some foods in Germany are really sweet too.

For example, I tried buying some Old El Paso brand taco seasoning from Rewe, the German supermarket. I know that OEP is more of an American brand and it's in the American aisle here, but I was curious if it tasted any differently from what I buy in the US. It did -- and I was very thankful that I tasted it first before I added it to the dish I was cooking! I actually threw it away because it was ridiculously sweet and I felt it would ruin the savory Mexican dish I was making. Most Mexican food, with the exception of desserts and some things with mole sauce, are not sweet. Germany, it is worth noting this ;)

I also bought some German spaghetti sauce that I ended up giving away without eating. For some reason, I had a suspicion that it would be sweet so I tried a small spoonful first. It hardly tasted like tomatoes because there was so much sugar in it!

I guess that I was just surprised by all of this; I would have not thought that some savory foods would have so much added sugar.

I done lost my mind

Corn shows up all over the place in Germany; one might even say in some places where it doesn't belong, depending on one's cultural background. I see it on pizza and that has always given me pause, not to mention the egg that makes its appearance too.

However, here's one more way that I'm on my way to getting Germanized: one night, as I was making pizza, I opened the freezer and the idea popped into my head to take out some corn to put on the pizza. Then I woke up and hastily shut the freezer door. I'm not that assimilated yet that I'd willingly eat corn that way.

The Strawberry Sellers of Hamburg

I love spring time in Germany. Okay, to be honest, I like every time in Germany, but spring time is especially lovely! In addition to the lovely weather and more buoyant moods of everyone, there are other fun things to anticipate.

For example, it's time for the return of some lovely local produce. Spargel and strawberries are for sale in full force. Even better yet? Little strawberry huts pop up! It's so fun to buy strawberries from someone who's sitting in a giant strawberry. (Oh lawdy, I wish they sold everything in huts shaped like what they were selling. How dang fun would that be?)

Hamburg was no exception; check out the cute strawberry hut we saw in the Schulterblatt neighborhood:

I was even more delighted when I saw something similar, reproduced in a small scale, at Minitaur Wunderland:

Choco kebabs?!

When I visited the Mannheim Maimarkt, I saw a choco(late) kebab booth. I had read about a store opening in Berlin that sold these a while back so it was curious to see it in person. The "chef" would shave off bits from a chocolate hunk and then they'd be served in something that looked like a tortilla. I can't say that this looked at all appetizing to me but it was certainly interesting!

Vending machine Wurst!

I was traveling through Sembach and saw this at the Esso station:

It's sausage from a vending machine! I'm not sure if I find it to be ingenious or a bit disconcerting. After all, are they served cold or warm? How fresh could they be? I'm kicking myself for not looking more closely!

Dampfnudeln: German steamed buns

One way to get a German person or an expat with lots of fondness for Germany to sigh happily about inexpensive desserts is to mention Dampfnudeln. These are rolls/buns that are steamed in a pot and are commonly eaten in southern Germany and the Alsace region of France. The bottoms of them are cooked in a salty brine that creates a crispy crust while the top of the bun is very soft. They can be served as a main dish with savory sides, such as vegetables, or they can be served as a dessert with a vanilla sauce or jam.

They are definitely available at Christmas markets and can be seen at other places, such as food carts and sometimes at bakeries attached to grocery stores. People are quite fond of them.

I am not one of those people. I finally gave one a try at a Christmas market in December. It's a strange beast, this dampfnudel. Think of an undercooked roll that's incredibly doughy but with a very salty bottom that's crispy. The whole thing doesn't taste like much, other than flour and salt. The vanilla custard sauce that came with it didn't taste like much, either. Sorry, Mr. Dampfnudel. You just didn't do it for me.

Dampfnudel on left, uninspired vanilla sauce on the right.