Mail and the machines of the roadside

On today's episode of Roadside Candy Machines, may I take you to Sippersfeld, for no other reason than randomness?

You can mail a letter in the yellow box, buy a weird bead bracelet or mini soccer ball, or purchase some disgusting looking Bubble King with some sort of weird...growth on the machine containing it.

Num num.

A roadside candy machine done horribly wrong

I can't even...

or I guess I can. During a trip to Winnweiler, a suburb of Kaiserslautern, I came across a most horrible candy machine. It effected horrified and shocked laughter from me...

not because it was filthy and gross looking, but because one of the offerings. If you are a sensitive soul, read no further.


If you're bawdy, check out this awful humor:

In case you were not quite sure what they meant, they included another photo to drive the point home:

Oh my.

Roadside candy machines of Nürnberg

Or Nuremberg, for those seeking an Anglicized version...

Several years ago, I visited the city after a work trip and was taken on a lovely tour by a local. We ran across several roadside candy machines and since I'm obsessed with them (or more likely the curious idea of who would actually buy things from them), I had to take pictures. My friends are accustomed to me screeching to a stop and whipping out a camera mid-sentence but I can only imagine what new acquaintances think. Then again, I'm slightly eccentric and make no effort to hide it so I think it's good to let them know early on what they'll be dealing with.

Anyway, watch out! Along came a sticky hammer, which reminds me of an overly hungry worker's tool kit after eating some cinnamon rolls (yes, I am always making very strange linguistic connections). This toy was accompanied by some boring ol' bubblegum.

The next one was partially filled with bubblegum but the other side was very exciting because it contained a "galactic surprise." Usually these aren't as cool as what seems to be promised but the illustration shows a car, a skeleton, a top, and a rabbit. Is it supposed to be something like space debris? It is unfortunate that I didn't find out.

This Kunstautomat is really arty

In January, my friend L. and I took a day trip to Halle (Saale). We had actually intended to visit Jena (the opposite direction) so obviously we were quite a bit off!

It was a happy accident, however. We bumbled through the city, visited their museum, and came across the Kunstautomat below.

It's an art vending machine and features local and regional artists. It puts the Automaten in Kaiserslautern to shame; or at least its colorful outside does! Even the money slot is happy.

Kaiserslautern's Kunstautomat

About two years ago, I saw a Kunstautomat in Nuremberg. It's a former cigarette vending machine that's been converted to vend art. How cool is that? I wrote about it here and here.

I recently returned from a vacation in the US and found out that Kaiserslautern will not have only one, but two, Kunstautomaten, installed this month. Of course I was curious and had to go find them.

The first one is on the southeast corner of Stiftskirche, somewhere near the free-standing Imbiss. Each piece of art costs four euros; the machine accepts one and two Euro coins, and artists are both local and regional.

I shoved my coins in and pulled out one of the locally labeled drawers. In the packet, designed to look similar to a cigarette box, there was a small white piece of paper with an embossed relief in it. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's interesting, and I was glad to satisfy my curiosity.

It hadn't opened yet when I stopped by, but by now the other Automat at the Union Studio will be open too. I stalked it (on the west side of the building) and took a picture of it before its unveiling. If you're in Kaiserslautern, take a look!

Roadside candy machine: gettin' zippy with it

I found this candy machine (toy machine?) filled with some gumballs who look a bit dodgy and some jewelry.

As far as the plastic choker necklace goes, is that ever a blast from the past for me. I'll admit: in the early 2000s I wore those and yes, I used butterfly clips and rolled my hair, for a hot minute.

I did not, however, have a rad zipper bracelet. That's all now, baby.

No one will take a Shine to this roadside candy machine

I came across this roadside candy machine in Leipzig. A few things stuck out: first of all, it was blue.

Second of all, like many things in Leipzig, it's been tagged with graffiti. I saw "redröm" tagged on it. I had a suspicion that it was the German take on "red rum," and I think it is, as "Mörder" if it's reversed.

Sometimes I think I'd love to see security footage to find out what roadside candy machines go through. (Although, having seen some of them looking really jacked up, I'm then  not so sure that I would want to know!)

Interesting juxtaposition with the poster in the window too!

Get all your vices at one convenient corner in Cologne

This isn't the first cigarette machine I've seen next to a roadside candy machine, but the placement is a bit absurd. It's obvious what the placement is trying to sell first. Maybe the goal is to have children be distracted by candy on the lower level while their parents are buying cigarettes above them. What marketing!

A lowrider of a roadside candy machine

Low riiiiiiider...

here's a low riding candy machine in Nuremberg. It was about a foot off the ground. Is it marketing to children at its purest form?

Roadside candy machines: drama in Kindsbach!

It may seem so innocuous but apparently this poor candy machine in Kindsbach, a suburb of Kaiserslautern, had experienced some rough times.

The note says: "This automat was badly damaged. For the seizure of the brainless young hoodlums a reward will be paid up to 500 euros." Poor candy machine! People need to be nice to these hardworking machines that only wish to dispense candy and tchotchkes, despite the weather and the possibility of health hazards associated with eating things from a machine that is somewhat susceptible to the elements. (This brings a thought: do these things ever get infested by bugs?)

Roadside Candy Machines: this one gets artistic

Today's entry for my Roadside Candy Machines obsession revisits a Kaiserslautern candy machine that I've photographed before.

The presentation in the machine has changed slightly. This time around, it added a metal mesh grid to corral the keychain animals that one squeezes, and, um, "stuff" comes out their backsides. I start thinking about that time I was studying Animal Science at university, which makes me worry for the health of the keychain animals.

With this particular RCM, I'm getting a vibe that plays out as Modern Art Exhibit. I'd call it Prolapsed Animals with Juxtaposition of Cheap Tiny Bottle of Liquor That Turns Out to be Way More Expensive Than Just Buying a Big Bottle and Calling it Good.

I feel as if the metal mesh thing from which they hang is a metaphor for commercial farming and the horrors that await animals as they are hung from machinery to be processed from animal/sentient being into food products. If I took this crunchiness even further, I could mention something about how the tiny bottle of liquor is a metaphor for the meat industry. Maybe meat isn't as expensive as we think it might be in the short term, but the environmental consequences of it will cost us all dearly in the end.

Or maybe it's just a bunch of squeezy animal keychains.

Roadside candy machines: Rüdesheim am Rhein

Rüdesheim am Rhein was all made up for the holidays when we visited a week ago. I was thrilled to find a roadside candy machine and it too was decorated a bit for the holidays, with pine boughs.

It contained some weird toy fish things, jungle fruit sour gumballs, and some little rope things that may or may not have been jewelry (or a rope crucifix, as I had been disappointed to receive once when I thought I was getting jewelry).

Roadside Candy Machines: the Fox Box in Vienna

We saw this interesting combo of candy machines in Vienna. I was particularly interested in the Fox Box, which appears to dispense little boxes of gum. The other machine contained an odd assortment of bubble gum and loose rings. I think it's the first time I've seen rings that weren't in some sort of plastic bubble.

I was tempted to buy one of each to see what would happen but as is customary with my participation with roadside candy machines, I took a quick picture on the fly. Usually I'm with a friend (and that was the case with this visit) so I usually don't fully stop.

Roadside Candy Machines: Frankfurt am Main Hauptbahnhof

I saw this guy outside the Hbf in Frankfurt. There's the ubiquitous "sticky hammer" and some cola-flavored bubble gum. If I didn't find these things so unsanitary, I would have been tempted to try the gum.

I felt like a weirdo as I was taking the picture because a ton of people were waiting for the bus.

A saint and a roadside candy machine in Nuremberg

Perhaps this might be one of the few roadside candy machines "blessed" by a saint. It's a bit odd, then, to see "voodoo dolls" being sold beneath the Virgin Mary.

Roadside candy machines: Abandoned in Ingelheim!

During my family's visit, we took a trip to Ingelheim, which is called "die Roteweinstadt," or "red wine city." In fact, the point of the trip was to visit the red wine festival being hosted by this city on the Rhein River, near Mainz.

On the way to the festival, we saw the emptied out roadside candy below. It looked sad and forlorn. However, the ones with dusty candy also look that way to me.

Roadside Candy Machines: RIP Ivan, in Idar-Oberstein

My family and I took a trip to Idar-Obertein and I saw this roadside candy machine-cigarette machine duo there. In an interesting change of pace, someone would also like us to know that Ivan should R.I.P. There are so many things going around at this particular machine.

Even better than roadside candy machines: Nuremberg

While we were visiting Nuremberg, I saw something really cool: a vending machine for art! One could buy what looked like small prints. The machine was labeled "art for all." Indeed.

Roadside Candy Machines: Nuremberg, Germany

I'm back after a bit of a busy hiatus necessitated by a wonderful visit from my family. We took a trip to Paris and tooled around Germany. During our visit to Nuremberg, I saw an interesting juxtaposition of a candy machine and a cigarette machine. I wonder if some young children will make some unhealthy and unconscious choices in the future because of this unfortunate placement.

One of the candies on offer was called "center shock mystery." I don't know; it just doesn't sound like a mystery that I'd be interested in experiencing.

Mark this date in history

I saw some locals actually buying candy from a roadside candy machine! Some kids were buying jawbreakers from a machine in Kaiserslautern. I was a bit shocked because it's quite a grungy, rusty machine they patronized.

Read more about my obsession with roadside candy machines here.