My week: May 6 ed.

I haven't written one of these in months, if not a year or so, and I have a ton of things to do around the house right now, so it makes perfect sense to write an update instead, eh?

Last year's focus was to take and pass the B2 Deutsch als Fremdsprache test from telc, which I did. I also wanted to join a club where I'd have to speak German all the time and volunteer (the latter doesn't have to be in German). I started, and have continued, both of those tasks, too, and it has made for a very interesting way to pass my time (in addition to working, of course!).

Something I didn't plan to do was break my ankle, which I did during a trip to Austria in December last year. It took three months before I could walk without crutches, and while I'm off them and even hiking again, my ankle isn't the same. Maybe someday I'll blog about that too, as it was quite the (not recommended) experience.

Anyway, now I'm back in the swing of things. I've been taking two different C1 German classes since the winter, so those are keeping me busy several nights a week, this week not excepted. As has been typical with my German-learning journey, I'm still vacillating between "yeah! I'm totally getting it" and "whoa, why is it that I can't even get the gist of this article, and I'm supposed to be so far along in German?" My biggest problem still is vocabulary and I've been very remiss in learning it. Folks, learn from my hard-hardheadedness: don't get behind in learning vocab or you'll be sorry! I'd like to take the C1 test late this year or maybe next year, but first I have to catch up on vocabulary.

In contrast to the hours I've spent in the classroom this week, J and I took a beautiful hike at Mehlinger Heide, which is a moor or more aptly, a heath, in Mehlingen, not far from Kaiserslautern. It's a mix of pine forests, a scrubby area that explodes with heather in later summer, which in turn makes me think of the Counting Crow song lyric that I misremembered as "lay me down in a field of flaming heather" when it's actually "lay me down in a field of flame and heather." Oops. That was pretty much the only thing I knew about heather before I visited the Heide, which I told J. It was such a gorgeous day and J is fantastic company. Someone we recently met at an event thought that we were a couple; we aren't, just really good friends, but we joke around and call each other "Schatz" to be funny. (Schatz literally means "treasure" but it's also a term of endearment for one's partner.)

I continued getting in touch with nature by taking a class about foraging wild foods from a local club. A. came with me and we learned how to make tasty food from daisies, stinging nettles, and dandelions. Our favorite dish was a "pizza" made with a "sauce" of stinging nettles and onions cooked in olive oil with seasonings. 

We received a free booklet that had been sponsored by the club and the state government that tells of the benefits of allowing wild plants to thrive. For example, there is a type of butterfly that only likes one kind of stinging nettle. The booklet mentioned some people who have arthritis use stinging nettles to help with arthritis pain. I'm such a smart...alec, that I had to keep myself from saying, yeah, well, duh, if you're itching from the nettles, the arthritis might take a backseat for a while.

It was also Maimarkt time, which is a giant trade show-travel market-horse show-and more in Mannheim which occurs at the end of April/beginning of May. Last year we didn't go for some reason, but this year A and I promised ourselves we'd go. It's hard to resist, especially since it's an easy train ride and the transportation ticket and entry fee is just less than 10 euros. 

As we were waiting for the train, herds of elderly Germans descended upon the station. I had to stifle a giggle (again, I'm a smart alec) because they were wearing a "uniform" of sorts. Whenever elderly Germans do something that they feel is somewhat sporty or active, they exhibit a propensity toward wearing a checkered button-up shirt, Jack Wolfskin adventure trousers (and often the kind that zip off into capris, men included, and preferably in khaki, taupe, or gray), and either hiking boots, or even better yet (or worse, depending on how you look at it!) sandals WITH SOCKS.  

See Exhibit 1:

This is only part of the group and see what I mean? They're mostly dressed the same and it turns out that they had the same destination we did: the Maimarkt, which doesn't really warrant hiking clothing as it's a flat area with exhibition tents.

When we arrived at the Maimarkt, we perused the tents and were excited to see a healthful food/vegetarian/vegan tent. A and I are both rather crunchy so this is right up our alley. We found a booth with various vegan offerings, which at first glance seemed great, but then I later wrote this Facebook rant about it:

Dear super-crunchy vendor at the Maimarkt: I am giving you the side eye (that sometimes turns into an eyeroll) about your bragging about how healthful and wholesome your food is. When I asked you if you added sugar to your chili sin carne, you said yes (I just had a feeling that you did - people looooove to add sugar to savory food in Germany). There is no good reason to add sugar to chili. It is not a dessert. If you want to have healthful food and advertise it as such, please don't add unnecessary and unhealthful ingredients to it. If you need to add flavor, please consider trying herbs and spices instead. I tried two other savory dishes (one Thai and one Indian) and the vendor had added sugar to those, too. It would've been so much better without it. Also, for those who rail about how unhealthful American food is, yes, it CAN be very unhealthful, but European food is not sinless either. All of Western cuisine could benefit from not using so much sugar, sodium, and fat.

After our unnecessarily sweet lunch, we made sure to peruse the travel booths and of course came up with many more places to add to our already too-long mental list of places we want to visit. 

When I got home, I took my bike out to forage for some nettles around the city. I then made some vegan, no-sugar added nettle soup that turned out quite well, if I do say so myself, with various frozen veggies from my freezer and vegetable stock. It was a good week.

Leave it to German to be gross

The German language is very descriptive and the culture is also one that is rather direct. As a result, this can lead to what can be a bit uncomfortable for those from a less direct culture.

Case in point? Take a gander at this medication.

English uses the euphemism "cold sores." German cuts straight to the chase. This is a medication for "lip herpes" (Lippenherpes).

Not a cake to be eaten

New German word of the day: Klostein, which comes across as a bit funny because it means "toilet stone." The English name for this is a "urinal cake," which is rather disgusting if you think of it, so let's go with Klostein instead

Too much Moo time

Oops, I was getting too used to being around Moo all the time. My friend J stopped by and we were getting ready to leave for dinner. He was in the kitchen to pick up some bags.

Moo was trying to run into the kitchen so I yelled at him, "don't even think about it!"

J said, "what? What did I do wrong?"

Me: "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry! I was talking to the cat."

A frighteningly good deed

I wanted to do some good and clean up the neighborhood so I picked up some trash. I was confused why people kept skirting me until I realized that they were uncomfortable with the broken bottle I was carrying. For the record, I did not have aggressive body language; if anything, I was happy, because I was on my way for some ice cream!

15 years in...

With the turn of the new year, a crazy realization set in: I've been working in my field as a professional for fifteen years. Whoa! I feel old. Or should I say experienced?

People usually assume that my profession is staid and boring. It's not, and can be full of surprisingly bizarre situations.

For example, no one in grad school told me that I would have to write an email to a vendor as such:

"We received a box of [products you sent us] in very damaged condition; the post office had taped it back together and some [products] inside were damaged. We also believe that some are missing but unfortunately can't tell because the packing slip is gone too.

Strangely enough, there were cans of blood sausage, black licorice, and Hello Kitty pencils in the box! That is totally bizarre and I don't imagine that you sent us them; our guess is that someone else's box fell apart and they didn't know where to put the food items so they included them in the wrapped-up box of our items. So, I am sending you the mailing label on the box. Could you please provide us the packing slip for this box so we can tell you what was missing?"

More disconcerting language learning exercises

It sometimes appears that publishers of language learning materials can't think of some useful example sentences for students to practice. Sometimes the examples they come up with can be downright disturbing, such as talking about a man who follows women, as I wrote about here.

I haven't used language learning materials geared toward the basic consumer market in some time (think Berlitz, Pimsleur, etc.); I much more prefer the more academic approach. However, I recently needed to test the software from one of the big guys in the world of language learning.

Cue the insane example of a sentence to learn, and the corresponding picture:

"The man is reading a burning newspaper."

I had so, so many questions after seeing this, including:

1. Why the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is this man reading a burning newspaper?!
2. Is this some sort of social commentary on the dangers of censorship in the media?
3. Why is he not perturbed that his newspaper is burning?
4. Why does he appear to be standing in the middle of a lane of traffic?!
5. Is his hand not getting burned by the fire?
6. When am I going to say, in German, that a person is reading a burning newspaper?
(From my cultural observations from living here, it doesn't seem that people read burning newspapers.)
7. Why would the course designers think this is a useful phrase to learn?
8. (From my experience in marketing/stock photos): Did they actually do a photoshoot where the man had to hold a burning newspaper? How'd they get him to agree? What kind of liability insurance did they need for this? Or was the fire photoshopped in?

The entire diatribe above is why I'm not a major fan of the "quick and easy" (not) learning without a teacher. A lot of time the CDs or software teach utter nonsense.