Cold rocks, getting sick, and a friendly Frau

I visited the Terres des Hommes Fahrradmarkt in downtown Kaiserslautern yesterday. I wasn't really looking for a bike since I now own three of them, but I am nosy as all get out and wanted to write about it for you, faithful readers (it's cool if you cheat on my blog and read others too).

After I had looked around, I stopped by the Kuchen table and selected a lovely piece of rhubarb cake, so fresh that it was still warm from the oven. There was a table but people were hovering around it and I didn't want to do the awkward dance of seeing if I could sit there or not. Next to the table was a lovely, flat boulder, just the right height for sitting.

Perfect! I thought, and sat down to enjoy my cake. The crowd at the table departed and an older lady sat down. Seeing me, she became very concerned. I broke into the deer in the headlights look. You know, what those who don't speak German might think: oh no! She's telling me not to do something but it's in German so it's scary!

I then realized that, 1) duh, I can understand a decent amount of German so I needed to stop freaking out and listen to what she was saying; 2) she wasn't schimpfing (scolding) me; 3) instead, she was concerned for my health and welfare.

What was I doing that was potentially dangerous? I was sitting on a cold rock. She invited me to sit at the table to save me from the horrible fate that befalls those who sit on cold rocks. I didn't feel like moving so I said in German, "oh, thank you, but I will stay here." She was concerned, saying that I would get sick. I've been a bit saucy lately (aka assertive*, but not in a mean way) so I grinned and told her that it was nice of her to offer but I'm American and we don't seem to get sick from sitting on cold rocks;  I do it all the time.

I swear that I've written about this before, but I can't find it in my blog. There is this belief that I've heard echoed from many German women who are otherwise very scientific (literally, some of them are scientists): sitting on cold rocks is unhealthy and can result in illness. When I press for what can happen, I've been told that women will get bladder infections.

As someone who's sat on cold rocks and gone outside in the winter with wet hair (to the point that it gets ice crystals when it's cold enough) for decades and has suffered no ill effects, I have to call shenanigans on this one. Bacteria and viruses cause sickness, not cold rocks, and sitting clothed** on a cold rock would have no ill outcomes.

Following that, we had a nice conversation, mostly in German. She was there to find a new bike but she wasn't accustomed to bikes with hand breaks. She had been injured badly on a bike in the last year because she braked too hard. I wished her luck in finding a bike and told her about the Saarbrücken sale too.

Later it struck me as a little bit out of the ordinary that she'd speak with a stranger. Usually Germans aren't that into small talk with random people. This isn't to say that I haven't had it happen before. I guess what helps is that I (can) speak German (ish). The other way to get a German to talk to you? Be a woman and sit on a cold rock.***



*Okay, a bit of a feminist diversion here: why do women have to feel guilty about being assertive? Or, why is it, when we politely state how we feel about things and that we will be making our own decisions, it even gets labeled "assertive" but it's just the normal M.O. for men? This really isn't about the nice lady who was talking to me; she was being friendly and was concerned for my health, but my response started my thoughts about assertiveness and femininity.

**Not to be totally uncouth, but I guess there's a small chance that an unclothed person could pick up something from the rock, but it would have nothing to do with the rock being cold.

***For the record, the rock wasn't cold; I would say that it was slightly cool but that wouldn't have even registered had she not said something.

I was featured in Multicoolty!

A representative from Multicoolty contacted me invited me to write an expat profile for the site. It's a website that examines multicultural life in Germany, focusing especially on expats. Here's the link to my interview on the site and below is what I wrote.

Multicoolty Interview with Around the Wherever

aroundthewherever.blogspot.com

From the American Midwest to expat living in Southwest Germany

What brought you to Germany?

I had been interested in living and working overseas since I had a semester abroad experience when I was pursuing my undergraduate degree. Quite a few years later, I found a job opportunity in Germany. I thought it would be a great way to do some good and to experience expat living.

What opinion did you have about Germans before coming? Has it changed? Have any of the stereotypes been confirmed?

Before my first trip to Germany, I had very little knowledge of the country and people other than what I had seen in movies. I alternated between wondering if people wouldn’t be very friendly or if they’d be farmers dressed in Tracht and drinking from huge beer glasses. I wrote more about it here: http://aroundthewherever.blogspot.de/2014/09/my-preconceived-notions-about-germany.html

I traveled to Germany and learned that neither idea was really what it was like here but I still didn’t have an accurate picture. When I found out that I would be working here, I read as many expat blogs as I could before I moved. From that, I came away with the idea that people would be scolding me for doing anything wrong (such as jaywalking) and that I would never be able to make any German friends.

I am thankful to find that both of those assumptions have been proven wrong! I have yet to be scolded and I have some wonderful German (and expat) friends who have been so kind and friendly.  I wrote more here: http://aroundthewherever.blogspot.de/2014/09/my-preconceived-notions-about-germany_12.html

What is it that you like/dislike in Germany?

There are many things to like about Germany. Personally, I like the quality of life. People seem, for the most part, secure. They have plenty of time off and know how to enjoy it well. They know that they can stay healthier since they have good health insurance and adequate sick leave in the event that they do get sick. I love that there always seems to be some sort of festival or event no matter what the time of the year. I’m a big fan of the big push for recycling and conserving resources.

Even though there are many positive aspects of living here, Germany does have some down sides, too. I have gotten so frustrated by people not respecting personal space. While in line at a grocery store once I was shocked when, without warning, a woman behind me grabbed me by the waist and shoved me to the side. Apparently she wanted to get by but an “excuse me” or tapping me on the shoulder would have been a much more polite way to ask!  I have also experienced people blatantly cutting in line or bumping into me on the street. It was definitely a culture shock for me because in America, people tend to be respectful of lines and apologize for running into someone.

What is your favorite thing to do/eat/etc. in/about Germany?
I live in the Pfalz region of Germany, which is a lovely wine growing area. I joke that if people ask about the beer here, we tell them about the wine. I really enjoy attending the culinary hikes and local wine festivals, where I sometimes try the area’s specialty, white wines.

I also enjoy some of the great outdoor opportunities available in the area. Since we’re in the Pfälzerwald, hiking is a popular activity. Additionally, I love to attend auto free days when the local two-lane highways are closed for bicycling and parties in the towns along the route. More about the car free bike rides here: http://aroundthewherever.blogspot.de/2013/08/autofreies-lautertal-kaiserslautern.html

More about wine/culinary hikes here: http://aroundthewherever.blogspot.de/2014/04/wolfstein-kulinarische-wanderung.html

What would you say to a person who is thinking of moving to Germany?

Do research before moving here but come with an open mind and form your own opinions. Attempt to integrate yourself as much as you can; learn German (the Volkshochschule is a great place to start) and once you’re more fluent, join community clubs or organizations. Attend local events. Try to make some German friends, remembering that to have friends, it’s important to be a good friend (i.e. honoring your commitments, being punctual, and treating others as you’d like to be treated). Look for the good in others and in your newly adopted country. If you expect to have a good time, you probably will!

Places to buy used bikes around Kaiserslautern

I wrote an article for Germany Ja! about this. In fact, tomorrow, Saturday, 9 May, there will be a sale in downtown Kaiserslautern.

More about this sale and other places to buy used bikes in the article here.

The joe that was too sloppy

Sloppy Joes, a messy and saucy cousin of hamburgers, are a part of American cuisine (if it can be called that). They include ground hamburger cooked in a tomato-based sauce (called, aptly enough, sloppy joe sauce; it's somewhat similar to BBQ sauce). The filling is served on a bun and is a common family dinner.

An American cafeteria* in Germany had vegetarian sloppy joes on the menu and I was intrigued. I ate texturized vegetable protein (made from soy) based joes when I was in college (and have since) and like them. I guessed that these would be something similar and chose them for lunch.

Imagine my surprise when I received a huge lake of sauce on a plate but no bun. I asked where the bun was and they said it didn't come with a bun. Um, isn't a sloppy joe a sandwich? I did finally manage to talk them into giving me a bun instead of a side of vegetables.

Things got even more komisch when I tried what was really just "sloppy sauce:" there was no "joe" in it. In the sauce, I found about a baby carrot sized amount of carrot shreds and about the same amount of onions. However, it wasn't enough to make it similar to a hamburg filling; it was more like a garnish. 

I was essentially served a plate full of sauce. By that time, it was everything I could do to keep from bursting into giggles. The situation was absurd; I ate a plate full of sauce for lunch.

For the record, it tasted good and I would have been thrilled if it had some sort of meat replacement in it and was willingly served on a bun. Heck, I would have even been cool with having lots of shredded carrots and onions as the "meat." I was a bit disconcerted about eating sauce for lunch.

I told my coworkers the story about this and we laughed so hard. When I explained the thing about the carrots and onions, S said that she imagined something like a population density map being used to demonstrate the ratio of vegetables to sauce. I started imagining how things can be measured by PPM (parts per million). Would the carrots be measured as PPS, parts per sauce?


*this cafeteria is American through and through, with American staff and American ingredients, so I can't blame the ridiculous situation on a misunderstanding of American food by those who are not from the US.

Oy vey, I understood Yiddish

I had a crazy moment this week: I was curious about Yiddish and pulled up some lessons. I almost fell off my chair when I could understand a good deal of it. Sure, I imagine that you, the reader, are rolling your eyes as it might be common knowledge that it is strongly influenced by German. However, where I come from, there aren't a lot of Jewish people and my overview of linguistics during college was very basic so while I knew it had European influences, I didn't realize how Germanic it was.

I was quite pleased that I could understand it. All this work I'm putting into learning German is yielding even more knowledge than what I had imagined it would :)

My Week: May 3 ed.

Phew! It was a busy (as always) week, full of adventures and German learning.

-My new German learning class at the uni Verein started. I had hoped to take B2.1 there since I am already taking B1.2 at the Volkshochschule right now but the Verein stuck me in the same level. I wrote to the leader of the program that I was placed in the wrong class and that I should be in the next class. Well, here's looking back to the February blog entry I wrote about finishing the last Verein class when I didn't take the test at the end of it and was wondering why everyone thought it such a shame I wasn't taking it:

"It also makes me think that I should have researched more fully the benefits of taking the exam! With my luck, it's probably required before taking the next class or something."


Yep, my comment was prophetic: I had to take the test to get into the B2 class and Herr R wouldn't have it that I thought I should move on to the next class since I was already taking B1.2 at the VHS. So, here I am in B1.2 again. However, it's not all bad. My understanding is that the Verein's test is the same one would use to prove language proficiency in order to obtain citizenship in Germany. This will give me an additional opportunity to study and I don't have a deadline to finish all the classes to reach C1 or C2 level. The other bonus is that two of the girls from my previous class are in the new one and we sit together.


Taking both German classes does make for two very long post-work nights a week: I'm either in class or driving between classes for four hours, two nights a week.


-I went on a tour of the new K in Lautern Mall. I'm such an inhabitant of Nerdsville that of course I seized the opportunity to ask all of my burning questions about the mall. I even had my little notebook to record the answers and a blog post about it will follow. I'm sure you just can't take the suspense.


-I spent the weekend in the Stuttgart area with my friends C and K. I was invited to their Garten Party and stayed the weekend at C's parents' house. What a lovely time it was! I was thrilled to experience some very local German life.


C has been hosting this party for several decades now, since he was a teen, at his family's garden plot just outside the city. He invited the same friends who attended when they were all teenagers as well as some newer friends; I was the newest friend (we met in January). It was a lively night with a campfire, grilling, and good company.


I didn't want to crash the party too much so I decided that I would speak mostly German that night. I spoke German, but didn't understand as much as I had hoped that I would because of the heavy Schwäbisch dialects. One guy's accent was so heavy that I only understood about every 5th word! I did enjoy myself and spent a lot of time practicing listening. Their friends welcomed me and were friendly.

The garden. Everything is so beautiful and green now after the spring rain.

I spoke with H, who is African and is also learning German at about the same level where I am. She asked me why I wasn't drinking any beer. Well, the gardens have no official restroom facilities once the restaurant closed, so I didn't want to tempt fate. We were giggling about not wanting to be "Garten Pinkelerinnen.*"


We escaped the party unscathed and returned to C's parents' house. The next morning involved clean-up and then some time spent with R and G, his parents. They are absolutely lovely and welcomed me warmly the whole weekend. We had some nice conversations in German and English. They proudly showed me pictures of an American family who had previously been their tenants and they had befriended. It sounds as if they had become like family for R and G. I can see where they would have grown close, just based on how warmly R and G welcomed me into their home. When I was leaving for home, R hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, asking me to come back again so they could show me around the area more. G shook my hand and said that I was welcome back any time. It was a wonderful experience and I do hope to see them again.

*basically, it means garden (lady) pee-ers. I have no idea if it's really a German word; it probably isn't.

How Kaiserslautern celebrates Hexennacht

April 30 is Hexennacht, also called Walpurgisnacht. It's the night before May Day and the old belief is that witches met the night before to party, wait for spring, and do witchy things. In Germany, it's also a night of mischief for some.

I haven't noticed any signs of mischief in years past, but that's not say that there couldn't have been some. This year, I did see that someone had let loose with toilet paper and "decorated" some bike racks. There was also a dead pigeon next to it. I have absolutely no idea if it was meant to be part of the toilet papering or if it had already been there. Either way, it was disconcerting!