Around where monsters eat...

From Oct 9, 2010

I was absolutely pleased to learn that there is a book titled Monsters Eat Whiny Children. Apparently my friends and family think it's great, too. Maybe I should buy a copy of it for one of the success stories from this site, an expecting couple who also happen to be my friends (the wife knows me from BEFORE I was born; that's how long we go back). However, do I need to create issues in a child that hasn't even been born yet?

I read a review on Amazon (not that the hoi polloi make the most authoritative reviews) and this review cemented that I wanted to buy the book: "This book is absolutely terrible for children. I bought it thinking it would have some redeeming message for kids. It doesn't."

However, the book does have a recipe so it can't all bad, right? Right?

Around the...hood, trick-or-treating

Oct 31, 2010

Today's Lesson is this, kids: in the hood*, when parents accompany their progeny for trick-or-treating, it is proper etiquette to give the parents candy, too (or at least that is to be assumed as the parents open their own candy bags beseechingly).

*At least in my friend's neck of the hood.

Footie pajamas, you say?

Nov 3, 2010

I was working at my second job the other night when someone in a complete Boy Scout uniform strolled up and asked for help. He was so youthful and cherubic looking that had he not been 6 feet tall I would've thought he was a kid. Then I also thought how silly a grown man looks in such a uniform.

Immediately after he left I saw an ADULT woman in a one-piece pink pajama suit walk by. And by pajama suit, I mean the type that babies wear; I think they may be called sleepers (yeah, I'm a bit removed from the whole baby culture). It was one piece, zipped up the front, and had footies. And by adult I mean that she had kids of her own and had to have been in at least her 30s.

To clarify, I also must say that this happened on November 1st, so the people couldn't even claim that they were wearing Halloween costumes, either.

--

I have a friend who also deals with the public. In addition, she volunteers with a parrot rescue. She emailed me recently and said the sad thing is that the parrots speak more clearly than the members of the public do (and she's referring to native English speakers, to be fair).

Around the...taxidermy shop?!

From Nov 4, 2010

I plan to attend a ladies' night that includes a stop at a taxidermy store where they'll do salt scrubs for our hands. Do I have the courage to visit the house o' dead animal heads all over the place? How badly do I want smooth hands?

And, as usual, there will be chocolate replicas of male anatomy that night. I don't know what there is about ladies' night and chocolate anatomy pieces, but they are ubiquitous at such events.

Now that's true love

From Apr 27, 2010

My friend was telling me the story of how she met her husband and had me in hysterics last night. The whole story took probably about 45 minutes, not because it's truly a long story, but she's a hoot and gives every last detail (I know, guys, it probably would drive you nuts, but it was amusing; she's a fantastic person).

She said that the first picture she saw of the man she would eventually marry showed him wearing short shorts, knee high socks, with a Viking helmet with blond braids. It was hard to see much else of him; the photographer was far away. In between giggles, I managed to ask her, "and you STILL wanted to meet him after seeing that picture?!" Why yes, she did, and they ended up marrying.

Budget cuts result in...

My brother came to visit and we decided to take a trek to Detroit et. al. On the way day, we witnessed one of the recent results in state budget cuts. The way that workers are cutting the median's grass appears to have changed. One worker was on a riding mower, pulling a lawn cart. The other worker was IN the cart, facing backward and holding a weed whipper. We were laughing over that one; generally, workers cut the grass using big tractors. It was quite ridiculous looking.

Around the...Halloween pumpkin

From Nov 5, 2010

One of my favorite things about Halloween time is homemade pumpkin seeds. The commercial kind just don't do it for me; they're way too salty and processed-tasting. Even better yet, I love slightly burned pumpkin seeds (I was absolutely delighted when my friend gave me several containers of them that she was otherwise going to throw out).

My mom, knowing how much I love pumpkin seeds, was awesome and mailed me a package of them this week. However, I started wondering how much she loved me when they arrived postage due ;)