*Contains Spoilers!* My Tongue in Cheek Review of Breaking Dawn

**Warning: contains spoilers!** The whole thing is spoiled. This is my review of Breaking Dawn, Part 2, from the Twilight Saga. 

So Bella is turned into a vampire because she had a horrible pregnancy. You know she’s a vampire because she has red eyes and long eyelashes. She is now supposed to be cool and finally have a personality (unlike the pathetic shell she was before, always sulking around) and be a strong woman. They show that by having her push everyone around. I don’t call that being a strong woman; I call that domestic abuse, and she’s still lame any way. She gave birth to this weird half vampire half human kid who freaks all the vampires out. The kid meets vampires and puts her hand on their faces and they decide she’s ok. Then the mean vampires from Italy come and are freaked out by the kid and want to kill her. There’s going to be a vampire battle but then the kid puts her hand on the lead vampire’s face and someone else stares at him and he’s all like, never mind. The End.